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But when I got there, He was also there…

Day 1

I walked straight past him into acoustic tent, refusing to acknowledge him. I stood with my friends and felt the safety of the group. We took turns glaring across the sea of people at the blonde haired boy who had attempted to break my already broken heart. We wandered around always keeping tabs on where He was, keeping our distance yet one of the girls was always watching him. Checking to see if he reacted to the hugs and playful punches between me and my guy friends. See this may seem extreme but isn’t it what we all do? Subconsciously at least. Then I noticed it. I was the first to notice. I turned to Kaitlyn but she had already seen. There He was. Sat with a girl with long blonde hair, red cheeks and a severe lack of make up or style.

Was she prettier than me?

It’s okay, they don’t know each other and they’re barely talking.

Imagine, there were 6 of us all stood watching thinking we were being covert. Doing that thing in movies of hiding and spying. What the friggity fuck am I doing? I don’t care about that pathetic twat anymore! “Oh,” a little voice in my head said, “But you must! For else you wouldn’t be observing him in such a way that would make MI6 proud.”

We took a stroll around to the main stage and admired a hot guy playing guitar for a bit and then 5 minutes later we were back in the acoustic tent, outraged at the fact that He seemed to be making fast friends with the blonde girl.

Was she prettier than me?

No! No, my friends assured me! Besides, Lucy is over there counting the number of times He looks at you.

16. So far

Kaitlyn is analysing the way He is speaking. A few lines at the girl, glance towards me. A few lines at the girl, a glance towards me.

All the while I am smiling.

Day 2

I look hot. Short, tight black dress with checkered shirt and obviously the must have festival wellies.

We get there about 4ish and form a huge group (the kind I would have been intimidated to walk past). We’re just hanging around until a band that we know comes on stage and then I see Him again.

Oh shit.

He’s with his dad. Fuck! How do I look? Lucy, is he looking? “Don’t look now Tabby but he’s staring.”

Good.

It gets darker and darker and I get more and more aware of where He is at any given point. I’m not even trying. It just sort of happens…

It’s hot and everyone is pressed together. His group and my group have mutual friends so there’s kind of a chain of people and in that chain, I am about 4 people away from him.

He always told me that he could get any girl he wanted and he could pull really easily. Why is it then, that even the boy that would rather be in a room with a rat than me, also thinks I am a better catch than that blonde girl? Why, if you can pull oh-so-easily, are you stuck with a girl who isn’t half as pretty as your ex? Why, if you could get any girl, have you had to drop your standards?

Because, you are a cocky, arrogant little shit who is an expert in spouting bullshit, plagiarising poetry and having your head really far up your arse without doing any obvious damage.

So I’m dancing, I’m having a good time, I’m getting chatted up by a mildly drunk/high guy when I notice Him and the girl dancing very close together. But He isn’t dancing with her, she is dancing with Him… There is a difference, apparently.

So, he thinks he can pull? Well I can pull faster.

This guy just won’t leave me alone and keeps trying to kiss me. He already has his arms round my waist and I made quite certain that He could see that.

I look behind me and the girl has her arm round His waist.

What the fuck does she think she is doing? He is not yours and never will be! 

So I turn around, mildly drunk/high guy in tow and with a quick check to make sure He is watching, I let the guy kiss me, hands all over me and He can do nothing but watch as I prove to him that I don’t need him.

Really? You think you could one up me by talking to a girl? Oh honey we both know I was always too good for you. Now you get what you deserve, a girl who knows nothing about you. Doesn’t know the fact that you have to check the door is locked 6 times, doesn’t know that the toilet roll has to hang on the outside, doesn’t know that you love old books, are obsessed with the smiths and your favourite movie is monster in paris. You get what you deserve, a girl who doesn’t care enough to know, just like you didn’t care enough to make time for me.

So this is the story of how I got over a useless boy. It is the usual tale of revenge, mild stalking and resentment.

The funny part is that he thought he was better than me and the hilarious part is that he thought I would want him back.

Don’t ever cry over your Him because he is not worth it. He was lucky enough to have you at all and he fucked that up. HE is the mess, not you. Honey, don’t ruin your mascara because of his stupidity.

This has been life lessons with Tabby

Goodbye x

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So this sort of just happened…

It’s a thing. Here, have a thing that i did.

Also sorry for not blogging. Not much I can say really. Fucking off to France tomorrow so won’t blog for at least a week and as you know all too well, infrequent and sporadic blogging is my favourite *only* type of blogging.

Goodbye

Tabby

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Living in music

I live for music. Music is my life. I love listening to it and making it. A world without music, for me, would be a pretty shitty world. Especially now, I practically live in my headphones. It’s an escape. It blocks out the world and putting your earphones in is the universal sign for fuck off and don’t talk to me. It’s like a way to tell someone to get lost without actually screaming in their face.

I would fall apart without music. The only thing that stops me crying is putting my earphones in and just sitting and staring into nothing. I wish I could listen to music in class. It would keep me so much calmer!

So yeah, I just thought that I would express my undying love for music!

Tabby

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Letter to my 16-year-old self!

Clearly I’m not 16 yet.

That said, I thought this would be and interesting twist. You’re meant to write these when you’re older but maybe I should write one now so I can look at this post when I am 16 and go “Right, younger me said please don’t get pregnant. Better listen to her on that one!”

Maybe this way I can make sure I don’t completely go off the rails!

Okay here we go!

 

Dear 16-year-old me,

I am writing to let you know what I think you should and should not be doing. You should probably listen to me because I am actually sober and thinking straight and am probably being more sensible than you are right now (hopefully 😉

1. Please have found some way to make my hair better. (oh for god’s sake please say it’s not still flat!)

2. Please try to go out at least once every 2 months (I know the internet is your home but try… for me?)

3. Please still be friends with Elly (you won’t find anyone as crazy as her)

4. Please go to at least one house party (errr….. am I asking too much???)

5. Please don’t get absolutely wasted at said house party (hahaha…. NOT going to happen)

6. Please work hard and get at least 6 A*’s  (don’t care about RE but the others need to be good)

7. Please don’t end up at a shitty sixth form

8. Please actually learn to play guitar properly (and tune the acoustic once in a while)

9. Please don’t try and become Olive from Easy A (great movie btw)

10. Please don’t get fat (you know how everything goes straight to your hips!)

Okay and please, please, please don’t throw your life down the drain. I want shoes and lots of em but to get them we need money and we only get money if we get a good job and for that we need good exam results!

Oh and keep blogging. Don’t give up on doing what you love (unless it’s murder, in which case, give up NOW!)

If you do turn out to be some sexy badass criminal (pah! I wish!) please don’t get caught!

Tabby

 

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TMI

Okay so Carrie Hope Fletcher did a tag on YouTube called TMI and I thought that maybe I could start it on here!

TOO MUCH INFORMATION!!!!!

1: What are you wearing? Gilly Hicks hoodie, black sweatpants and blue vest top

2: Ever been in love? Nope

3: Ever had a terrible breakup? Nope

4: How tall are you? 5″6

5: How much do you weigh? 8 stone 7 I think

6: Any tattoos? Nope

7: Any piercings? My ears

8: OTP? Don’t know, have a few…

9: Favorite Show? Doctor Who, Sherlock, Criminal Minds

10: Favorite bands? Panic at the Disco, Clean Bandit, Bishop Allen, The Midnight Beast

11: Something you miss? Being carefree

12: Favorite song? I have loads but at the moment; Let Her Go by Passenger and Golden Brown by The Stranglers

13: How old are you? 14, 15 in January

14: Zodiac sign? Capricorn

15: Quality you look for in a partner? Good sense of humour

16: Favorite Quote? “I’m afraid I can’t explain myself sir. Because I’m not myself, you see?”

17: Favorite actor? Oh sweet baby Jesus, who to pick…? Benedict Cumberbatch, Matt Smith, David Tennant

18: Favorite color? Turquoise

19: Loud music or soft? Depends on my mood

20: Where do you go when you’re sad? My bed

21: How long does it take you to shower? 20 minutes

22: How long does it take you to get ready in the morning? School day I can get ready in 15 minutes sometimes it takes me up to an hour and a half!

23: Ever been in a physical fight? Only minor ones when I was younger

24: Turn on? Cute smile

25: Turn off? Judgemental

26: The reason I joined WordPress? To voice opinions, share my thoughts and occasionally give advice

27: Fears? Dying without doing anything useful, being murdered without telling my family and friends I love them

28: Last thing that made you cry? Being frustrated

29: Last time you said you loved someone? I don’t know

30: Meaning behind your WordPress Name? I used to get the nickname tabby-cat

31: Last book you read? How to be a Woman by Caitlin Moran

32: The book you’re currently reading? The Word on the Street – cool modern Bible

33: Last show you watched? Criminal Minds

34: Last person you talked to? My Dad

35: The relationship between you and the person you last texted? Friend

36: Favorite food? Chips

37: Place you want to visit? California

38: Last place you were? Drama studio

39: Do you have a crush? Maybe 😉

40: Last time you kissed someone? Last night

41: Last time you were insulted? Today

42: Favourite flavour of sweet? Those soft little rhubarb and custard ones

43: What instruments do you play? Piano, guitar, ukulele, drums

44: Favourite piece of jewellery? My Pandora bracelet and my Nanny’s wedding ring

45: Last sport you played? Table tennis

46: Last song you sang? Teenage Dirtbag

47: Favourite chat up line? If you were a chicken, you’d be impeccable. < LOL!!!!

48: Have you ever used it? No

49: Last time you hung out with anyone? Today at drama

50: Who should answer these questions next? http://mindofgeorge.wordpress.com/

http://beingarandomteenager.wordpress.com

http://littlemissnerdybookworm.wordpress.com/

http://ihaveaumpalumpaonmyhead.wordpress.com/

http://floodedroses.wordpress.com/

Okay then! Rules of the tag. Once you have been tagged you must complete all the questions and then tag someone or someones if you please. To let them know that they have been tagged please leave them a note on their most recent post to go to your blog to find out what to do.

Go forth and spread the tag!!!!

Tabby

 

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The chosen word and an announcement.

I am so sorry if my spelling is awful today. I am completely knackered and I can’t spell today!

The chosen word is ‘Ocelot‘ picked by http://dailyinformant.wordpress.com

Okay…

Ocelots are so cute they are like mini leopards and are totally awesome. I really want one as a pet! Ocelots are found in South America and is a similar size to a domestic cat but with the fur of a leopard. They were once hunted and killed for their fur and was classed as an endangered species from 1972-96 but is now rated as ‘least concern’.

The Ocelot is nocturnal and is extremely territorial, marking it’s territory with urine (that’s pee guys!) and sometimes feces (that’s poo!). Despite the fact that these animals normally live in the wild they can sometimes be kept as pets. The famous painter Salvador Dali kept and Ocelot named Babou.

All of the words people suggested were really good but I just couldn’t resist writing about these adorable little animals!!!

Okay my announcement!

I have uploaded my first YouTube video on my channel. It’s not amazing and I am sitting in a bathroom but it’s a start and hopefully you will all go and watch it (hint, hint). Please like it if you enjoyed and yeah…

My posts might become a bit shorter in future weeks because I am getting a ton of homework to prepare for end of year tests and it’s killing me!

Here’s the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfvK6Xt4U3w&feature=youtu.be

I am now going to have a bath and get ready to watch Broadchurch!

Goodbye

Tabby

Twitter: @tabbymilton

Instagram: @tabeeeee_milton