1

Bonjour!

Erm yeah hi again…

I realise I did a really shitty job of trying to make it up to you on my last post… I did, however, give you a completed song that actually made sense and stuff so you can’t complain too much.

Also I was busy…

Well I say “busy”…

In a loose sense of the word…

Well I did have a couple GCSEs and two plays and another play in rehearsal and coursework and mocks and stuff…

I’ve been to Lourdes, I got glasses, I went to Lille last week, I’ve watched all of Orange is the New Black (hurry the fuck up season 3 I want Laura Prepon back!!!), I got my results (an A* in statistics, A in core science), I smashed my phone, I kissed 7 different people, I went to 3 parties, I wrote several half finished songs, I made a cat out of potato, I saw a ford anglia, I got tweeted by Ophelia Dagger, hugged by a nun, got two injections, took shit loads of selfies and got a pedicure.

Oh yeah and I briefly managed to bag myself a boyfriend, which was nice. Until he broke up with me. Which, funnily enough, wasn’t so nice.

Hey ho, can’t complain I had two months of a guy thinking I (yes the girl that looks alarmingly like a walrus) was perfect. Yes I know, I thought he was delusional and clinically insane too.

Pros of breaking up:

1. I no longer have to pretend to be civilised

2. I don’t have to make my brain work to keep up with his intelligence

3. I don’t have to pretend to like English

4. I don’t have to put up with him spouting off about his anti-war opinions

5. I don’t have to listen to him go on and on about how every teacher ever loves him

6. I don’t have to share my food

7. I can finally finish Supernatural without him complaining about mythical inaccuracies

8. I can hang around with whoever the fuck I please without him objecting

Cons of breaking up

1. No one to make out with

2. No one to have in depth discussions about Skulduggery Pleasant with

3. No one to explain the fancy words I don’t understand

4. I don’t get to hang out with his super cool, ginger, thespian best friend who I think is insanely awesome and admire greatly (he’s off to a top drama university) – i think i’m gonna miss his friend more than him…

5. He was my drama teacher’s favourite and she suddenly liked me a lot more when I was with him. I fear I may be less like now

6. His mother is a teacher at my school which sucks major dick

7. I don’t get to go on the “couples campout” we’d planned with two other couples

So yeah it was fun while it lasted but now it’s over and I can find someone better who doesn’t think that Baz Luhrmann’s Great Gatsby is one of the worst films ever made (how? how could anyone possibly think that!?) At least he gave me my ukulele back (i said he could borrow my soprano) but he had fucking ruined it. He put it so out of tune, it made me physically shudder. I think he did more damage to my uke than my heart!

I went to a concert/festival thingy as well a few weeks ago. It’s a local thing that my town put on every year but I was always on holiday when it happened but this year I finally got to go. It was like a week after I had broken up with HIM and I was really looking forward to hanging with my friends, meeting some new people, dancing and just generally not giving a fuck. But when I got there, he was also there…

To be continued… (seriously this next part should be funny (you should totes read my next post)…. or at least it was from where I was standing)

Goodbye

Tabby

1

I Bloody Hate Weddings

Currently (i mean friday when i actually wrote this), I’m sat in a car with my family travelling to Luton for a wedding.

I hate weddings. It’s never like in the movies when you go to a wedding and there’s this really cute guy and you end up dancing and making out and then the night gets a little more interesting. No. There is never anyone my age, the food is always this posh stuff that you have no idea whether it’s edible or not and then there’s the awkward dance/disco thing after a lengthy service and freaky food where you all kind of sit awkwardly around the edge of the dance floor and listen to the shitty music selection that people with no taste have put together. There’s also the whole waiting around for hours between the vows and the wedding breakfast which makes you so hungry you only have two options; starve or resort to cannibalism and eat the bride’s mother.

More disadvantages include…..

  • being stuck in the car with your family for 5 hours
  • having to share a hotel room with your family
  • having absolutely everyone disregard the rules of privacy and personal space
  • having your parents constantly ask why you insist on getting changed in the bathroom
  • wearing a dress and having to look presentable
  • being separated from the internet (apparently its rude to take your macbook to a wedding?)
  • having no one to talk to for several hours
  • not being able to watch Breaking Bad or Supernatural
  • most of the time you don’t even know the people being married

I have been to only one wedding about which I could say was a good wedding. This was my mum’s cousin’s wedding.

Things that made it good……

  • began later in the day so I could sleep in
  • service was short
  • during the wait there was loads of cake and drink and snacks and I didn’t go hungry (for a change)
  • they put out loads of games like giant jenga and monopoly during the wait
  • it was held at this awesome business school/castle which you could explore
  • for the wedding breakfast, anyone under 16 got chicken and chips (yay edible food)
  • for the dancing they had loads of silly hats for people to get dressed up
  • they had these flip-flops for anyone wearing heels whose feet needed a break
  • FREE BAR!!!!!

So erm yeah *awkwardly shuffles out through window*………….

*climbs back through window* Oh yeah and I’m in Strasbourg next week so expect pictures!!!!!!

*quietly leaves through door*

Goodbye

Tabby

0

I just ate 40 pieces of popcorn chicken…

Well technically I had 26 pieces of popcorn chicken, 5 chicken nuggets and 2 chicken dippers… I think I have a problem with chicken…..

Please don’t judge me I couldn’t help it, it just sort of happened….

Anyways, I have so many posts that I want to do but I want to write them all now and I can’t because that’s stupid and I don’t know why but I feel super hyper right now and I’m typing like so freaking fast…..

Right, I have things that I want to tell you but can’t so that is gonna have to wait until maybe tomorrow or 3 in the morning when I get a random spurt of energy and decide to solve the economic crisis, write a novel and paint a fucking masterpiece…

Jesus my brain is super fucked up right now.

So this has been my week….

Monday: Went to Beth’s for sleepover and met her cousin Niamh who is awesome. Elly broke my fucking brace by falling on me when she sprinted to answer the phone to the pizza guy. She pulled one of the brackets off and it fucking hurt!

Tuesday: Left Beth’s and went to Shepperton (near London) to visit friends.

Wednesday: Bought a purple notebook from Paperchase (part of my OCD-ness, you wouldn’t understand it’s weird) and bought a dress for a stupid wedding in March (hoping to God that there’s gonna be hot guys!)

Thursday: Came back from Shepperton

Friday: Got my brace fixed… Oh yeah and Elly came round and we did fuck all….

Saturday: Gavin was here (foster kid) so we didn’t do a lot. Worked on English spoken language project and watched Bridget Jones’s Diary

Sunday: Looked like shit and didn’t get out of my pj’s until like one o’clock…. Then did fuck all….

Yeah so basically I did fuck all and now it’s 23:15 and I have 3 pieces of homework in for this week…. Shit.

In other, slightly more interesting news, I auditioned for the school play and got the part of Helena in A Midsummer Night’s Dream which is cool…. Also my love interest in the play isn’t to bad to look at so that’s a plus *Beth rolls her eyes and gives condescending look*….

Also the Strasbourg trip is only 5 weeks away and I still haven’t lost enough fucking weight to look good in my bikini at the spa!!!!! Yes we’re going to a spa on a school trip!!!!

I did the stupid poetry competition and all the other competitors were 17/18 except one. I placed 2nd which is cool and it was actually quite a fun night because the other ‘kids’ were pretty cool and we all got on quite well.

Right, anyway, I think I have bombarded you with enough information for now so I’m going to go and attempt to sleep which will probably fail because at the moment my mind is all over the fucking place and I keep thinking about people that I should definitely NOT be thinking about! *internal voice screams ‘yeah brain stfu and go to fucking sleep’*

Adieu my internet friends I must go and wrestle with my thoughts….

Tabby

25

Oh no another feels post!

Yeah but whatever! I just feel like I need to offload somewhere and no one seems to give a shit at the moment and I don’t particularly like talking to people so… I know some people are gonna be like “You’re just doing this for attention” and stuff but no I’m not I’m doing this because I’m allowed to post what I damn well like and this is my flipping blog and if you don’t like it, don’t read it.

Right so;

  1. I have lost my best friend
  2. Some of my ‘friends’ went and told a teacher something about another friend and now that friend is being told that she has to speak to a counselor and they are going to split our friendship group up
  3. Almost every single one of my ‘friends’ has something wrong with them at the moment
  4. Due to the above fact, I am getting their problems dumped on me. I don’t mind that it’s just that if I then have a problem I can hardly go and tell them
  5. When I do say I’m upset I then get told that I am attention seeking
  6. People are now accusing me of things I haven’t done due to people picking sides and spreading rumours
  7. I am fairly certain that one of my friends’ mother hates me.
  8. I have also been told that me and the friend in number 7 are not good for each other and shouldn’t be friends
  9. I have also been told that I am not allowed to go to the Watsky gig on November 3rd
  10. Halloween is going to be shit because I am not doing anything
  11. My plans for next year’s Summer in the City will probably not be going ahead

So basically everything for the past 4 weeks has been falling apart and I just feel like shit. I literally do not want to move from my room and I don’t want to talk to anyone.

Sorry for the sob story!

Tabby

6

Things I want to do!

1. Take a gap year and travel (sounds cliché but I really want to go backpacking!)

2. Go to university

3. Live in London for a bit

4. Go to France and stay for a while

5. Write a script for a play

6. Flat share with Elly and/or Beth (let’s make risotto)

7. Read the Bible (so I can argue competently against the existence of God)

8. Get rid of the spider in the corner above my window

9. Find out who George is crushing on (by any chance the ‘fictional’ person you blogged about a while back???)

10. Become fluent in the French language

These are just a few of the things I want to do in my life. Some I would like to achieve in the near future, some are long-term goals!

Tabby

0

Letter to my 16-year-old self!

Clearly I’m not 16 yet.

That said, I thought this would be and interesting twist. You’re meant to write these when you’re older but maybe I should write one now so I can look at this post when I am 16 and go “Right, younger me said please don’t get pregnant. Better listen to her on that one!”

Maybe this way I can make sure I don’t completely go off the rails!

Okay here we go!

 

Dear 16-year-old me,

I am writing to let you know what I think you should and should not be doing. You should probably listen to me because I am actually sober and thinking straight and am probably being more sensible than you are right now (hopefully 😉

1. Please have found some way to make my hair better. (oh for god’s sake please say it’s not still flat!)

2. Please try to go out at least once every 2 months (I know the internet is your home but try… for me?)

3. Please still be friends with Elly (you won’t find anyone as crazy as her)

4. Please go to at least one house party (errr….. am I asking too much???)

5. Please don’t get absolutely wasted at said house party (hahaha…. NOT going to happen)

6. Please work hard and get at least 6 A*’s  (don’t care about RE but the others need to be good)

7. Please don’t end up at a shitty sixth form

8. Please actually learn to play guitar properly (and tune the acoustic once in a while)

9. Please don’t try and become Olive from Easy A (great movie btw)

10. Please don’t get fat (you know how everything goes straight to your hips!)

Okay and please, please, please don’t throw your life down the drain. I want shoes and lots of em but to get them we need money and we only get money if we get a good job and for that we need good exam results!

Oh and keep blogging. Don’t give up on doing what you love (unless it’s murder, in which case, give up NOW!)

If you do turn out to be some sexy badass criminal (pah! I wish!) please don’t get caught!

Tabby

 

3

Favourites

*sings at the top of her voice* THESE ARE A FEW OF MY FAVOURITE THINGS!!!!!!!

Favourite Colour: Turquoise

Favourite Animal: Platypus, llamas, my dog

Favourite Food: Chips

Favourite Word: Bollocks

Favourite Band: AHHHHHHHHHH TOO MANY!!!!

Favourite Singer: SEE ABOVE!!!!!

Favourite TV Show: Any crime show like White Collar, Sherlock, Criminal Minds (what I call ‘smart shows’)

Favourite Pizza: Hawaiian (pineapple and ham)

Favourite Desert: Chocolate fudge brownie, apple crumble or toffee sundae

Favourite Popcorn: Butter

Favourite Number: 8, 16

Favourite Book: The Fault In Our Stars, Hitlers Canary and loads more

Favourite Fruit: Blueberries

Favourite Vegetable: Carrot

Favourite Drink: Still cloudy lemonade or anything from Costa or Starbucks!

Favourite Meal: Fish fingers and custard… or plain spaghetti

Tabby