Left to right this is Ashley, Gabi, Beth, Me and Kaitlyn at a Buffalo Grill in France at a service station while everyone else ditched us to go to Burger King. We even managed to order in french (badly… but I still managed to ask the waitress to leave out the onions!)
Anyway thats just a few of the pictures I took whilst in Strasbourg….. Im sorry if this post bored you but for me this trip really changed me (I know this sounds stupid but hear me out)…. So my best friend (lets call her X) didn’t get to go because her passport never arrived on time. Now there was a lot of shit that went with this and I used to feel dependant on X (I’m not really that self-assured) so I was a bit worried about going alone… And then X kind of started getting bitchy when I tried to comfort her and I was like well what the fuck this is hardly fair! The one time I actually get something and you don’t! Well fuck it! I’m gonna enjoy myself!
Now let me explain…..
X’s family are a lot richer than mine so she gets a lot more than me. I am by no means complaining because I am perfectly happy with my life but what I mean is that I am never allowed to be jealous of her but the minute I get something that she doesn’t, she kicks up this huge fuss like she’s so hard done by. It’s like she has to have more than me to feel… well I don’t know!
Before secondary school, I was a really outgoing but through secondary school I have gotten more introverted and developed social anxiety. I have low self esteem and hate going outside. My mum kind of had suspicions that X had influenced this a little because X is not too sociable and is also introverted.
It was good for me to get away without X because I could have experiences with some of my other friends like Gabi and Kaitlyn who go to parties, are in the ‘popular’ group and whose weekends actually involve doing stuff with people! Now X, when we were sorting out rooms, kicked up a huge fuss because she didn’t get her way and was in a room with the two aforementioned girls and me (in the end she didn’t even go so wtf!). Now she was all “but I’m gonna feel awkward and I don’t want to share a room with them!” but you know what!?
I HAD A REALLY GREAT TIME!!!!!
They were hilarious and I loved every minute of that trip and they really boosted my confidence and made me feel like an equal and you know the other thing!?
If someone got upset (which happened once), we talked about it and it got sorted! Because that’s the only way that you can deal with fall outs because half the time it’s just a misunderstanding and I think that being with them opened my eyes a little and made me realise that X really needs to just grow up.
So basically I had a really great time and after feeling quite depressed and shitty and after everything I’ve been through, it was really nice to get away, spend time with people who I don’t normally hang around with and feel (for once) like I fitted in and belonged.
I just thought that I would share that with you. The fact that I am happy. Truly happy (I haven’t felt this way in a very long time and its fucking brilliant!)