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10 Things You Should Not Do Before You Die

Here it is. The list to beat all lists – not really, tomorrow’s will probably be better. Anyway here it is and I hope you enjoy!

1. Shower under a waterfall. It’s not worth it. Think about it, you have to find a waterfall (not in England) and like actually have a shower. It will be cold and it’s actually pointless. It is not like the adverts!

2. Read “Jane Eyre“. Or any other classics for that matter. It takes so long to get to the end because the language is so weird and it takes ages to work out what every other word means!

3. See the Great Wall of China. People say this is great but really? If you’re anything like me you’re thinking “Really you want to walk around all day and look at a wall?” It is a WALL, and it involves walking!

4. Run a Marathon. Again physical exercise! You also have to pay! What?! YOU HAVE TO PAY TO TORTURE YOURSELF!? Really, people do this?

5. Spend a whole day naked. Weird one but this does appear on some lists of what you SHOULD do before you die. WHY? Seriously, think of the consequences. You will contract hyperthermia and it’s just plain weird.

6. Be totally honest with someone. Since when has that ever worked?

7. Become a millionaire. Are you fucking serious? If you are under 23 and extremely smart/business savvy then maybe but otherwise, just give up now. It isn’t going to happen WE ARE IN A FUCKING RECESSION YOU CAN’T JUST DECIDE TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!

8. See the Northern Lights. You have a T.V what is the point? You have to pay for flights, food, accommodation just to see some lights? Just google it and look at the damn pictures!

9. Become mortgage free. Really? This is someone’s life aim?

10. Die. You do not want to die before you die. Time will collapse and you will cause the universe to implode.

There we have it! 10 things you should not do before you die. If you want more buy the book “Can’t be arsed” by Richard Wilson. It is very funny and entertained me for hours!

Okay that is all I have to say to you!

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

P.S. Please comment and like it if you enjoyed xxx

6

10 Things You Should Do Before You Die

I have some more news. This time it’s really bad. You might remember me posting about a vlog that Elly and I had started a few weeks ago. Well, Elly had decided it was better if people at school didn’t know (haters and all) but some people that we really don’t like found out and told everyone so we have had to shut it down. Hopefully we will start a new one but we haven’t decided on a name and I couldn’t tell you anyway because those people could read this and find the new channel. I might be able to tell you in the future when everyone has forgotten about this but right now I’m afraid it is tippity top secret.

Okay so this list is quite an easy one and there are way more than ten things that I want to do but the them is a list of ten and for once I am obeying my own rules.

1. Learn ukulele. No joke it actually is the easiest instrument to learn (except maybe the triangle). After about 3 hours I could play most pop songs.

2. Sleep under the stars. Please don’t do this in England it’s fucking freezing and you will get hypothermia. This does seem a pretty cool thing to do though (unless it’s cloudy).

3. Learn to do the splits. I do not recommend this if you are over the age of 55. It just seems like it would be a good acheivement.

4. Take your duvet and pillow and try to sleep in as many weird places as you can. See “Sam Pepper – Sleeping Prank”. Link at the bottom.

5. Take part in a flash mob. One like in “St Trinians 2 – Legend of Fritton’s Gold”, that was a cool flash mob.

6. Learn George Watsky’s “Fast Rap”. I am in the process of learning it and it is insane. Again, link at the bottom.

7. Skydive. My auntie did this and said she would never, ever do it again, but to think you have done a skydive, that’s just awesome.

8. Write a blog. They’re amazing and so much fun.

9. Try to beat a world record or if you fail, set your own. Did you know the record for mince pies eaten in a minute is 2!?

10. Tell the person you love that you love them.

Well that was all very serious wasn’t it? Tomorrow it’s going to be “10 Things You Should Not Do Before You Die”, just to balance it out.

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

George Watsky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6XLswqiX0s

Sam Pepper http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xZDHq2RoT8

P.S. Please comment and like, I will love you forever… promise xxx

6

10 Things People Do That Annoy Me

Hello! Today you lucky, lucky people are going to get 2 lists! One to do with some kind of upsetting news I got and the other is just a regular old list!

Firstly I present to you my list of positives and negatives about being dumped by my (now ex) boyfriend (yes George it took him less than 3 weeks to work out that I’m weird (yes lads I am a single pringle again)and I don’t need you to comment George) and so here is my list:

Negatives;

1. I don’t have a boyfriend.

2. People will ask awkward questions.

3. It only lasted like 4 days.

Positives;

1. I can now dance to “All the single ladies”.

2. Elly rang him telling him what a prick he was (which was quite amusing).

3. It only lasted 4 days so it really didn’t take me long to get over it (like 30 minutes).

4. I can now focus on playing ukulele instead of worrying if he will text me.

5. I can now be as weird as I like because I have no one to impress.

There is my lists and as you can see the positives outweigh the negatives so therefore I am happy!

The list today is going to be… 10 Things People do that Annoy Me

1. When people don’t wear deodorant. Please don’t stand near me.

2. When someone compliments a girl and the girl goes “No I’m not pretty, I’m ugly” Just accept the damn compliment you know you’re fucking gorgeous!

3. When people are rude. I can’t stand rude people.

4. Okay this is a HUGE one for me. When really fat people (not picking on people it’s just it tends to be them that do it) go into a fast food place and are like “I’ll have a large burger, large fries, extra portion of onion rings… Erm some chicken wings, some mozzarella sticks and, oh yeah, a diet coke” Like WTAF??? What is wrong with your mind!? Just because you have a diet coke it doesn’t cancel out all of the other shit you just ordered!

5. When you’re texting someone and you are really making an effort and they only reply with one word answers (especially when they say “Kk”) It’s like seriously bitch that is all I get!?

6. There is always that one kid who reminds the teacher you had homework due in. Like really? Why do you do this? You are such a little snitch!

7. Guys this one is for you. When you make it so obvious that you are checking a girl’s butt out. The funny thing is that you think you are being covert. You are really not.

8. Girls this one is for you. In P.E when you have to run and there are like all the pretty girls going “Omg this is like the worst thing ever, I can’t believe she is making us RUN!” Seriously just move bitch the slower you go the more the rest of us suffer from the teacher making us do shuttle runs (Elly…)

9. That person that when you’re watching a movie they’re like “Oh this bit is so funny!”. YOU JUST RUINED IT FOR ME! TURN IT OFF I DON’T WANT TO WATCH IT NOW!

10. People who judge you as soon as they see you. I may not be the prettiest, coolest or smartest but don’t judge me without knowing me.

Okay there is my list for today. If there is anything that annoys you please comment and if you have any ideas for what you want my next list to be on please comment as well. If you enjoyed it please like it and if you really want (here’s a crazy idea) you could even follow me.

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton