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10 Things to do at School

Hello one and all! I am in a particularly happy mood at the moment (apart from my best friend going all moody on me (I think it’s because I told her she tuned her ukulele wrong, or something like that) and not finishing my Graphics project) this is mainly because I am eating chocolate right now and it releases happy endorphins in your body!

Sorry minor detour here but I need to ask something. I came home from school today and taped to the living room door was a note addressed to me and my sister and it had 2 ten pound notes attached. The note said that this was this month’s pocket-money (we have never had pocket-money before, ever) but we could only take it if we thought we had done enough to deserve it i.e had we walked the dog, kept our rooms tidy, put laundry in the laundry bin and done things without being asked? I know that I am really lazy. I mean really, really lazy, but as much as I am lazy I am quite honest. So I didn’t take the money and neither did my sister. Is it just my parents that do this or have you experienced something like this too? Is this guilt tripping or them trying to tell whether we are honest or not? I reckon they’ve been watching too much Supernanny!

Anyhoo… On with the list. 10 Things to do at School! (WARNING: You may seem a little strange if you do this but it is really good fun!)

1. Gallop. You can do this Monty Python style, Miranda style or even Gangnam style (but that’s mainstream)

2. Ask a teacher (in the style of Nathan from Misfits) “If a bear and a shark had a fight, who would win?”

3. Ask endless questions.

4. Start an argument on the existence of God in Religious. Or the morals of euthanasia. It’s guaranteed to waste the lesson and probably make your teacher forget about the homework she was about to give you.

5. Wear a fake moustache. You must act completely normal.

6. Wear an animal mask. This works best if you do this with a group of friends.

7. Corridor racing. My friend Hatty and I invented this. You kneel on the floor and push yourself along with your hands. It also works if you go backwards on your bum. It’s like wheelchair racing without the wheelchair!

8. Play poker. I got kicked out the class for playing Go Fish! The best card game is spoons. Look it up if you don’t know how to play it.

9. “Accidentally” set fire to something in chemistry. Alternatively turn the gas taps on and hold a lit spill to them. CUE RING OF FIRE!!!

10. Run around with no shoes on. It’s fun and you can slide around and I just like doing it. If you can, get a metre stick and poke people as you run around!

Okay. That is my list for today! I hope you enjoy and George before you ask I have done everything on this list except number 9 but Beth knows someone who has. Try these at school it really does make the day more interesting! Please comment what you want the list to be tomorrow as I am running out of ideas!

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

P.S. Please like if you enjoyed and comment your ideas and if you really like you can follow me!

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6

10 Things You Should Not Do Before You Die

Here it is. The list to beat all lists – not really, tomorrow’s will probably be better. Anyway here it is and I hope you enjoy!

1. Shower under a waterfall. It’s not worth it. Think about it, you have to find a waterfall (not in England) and like actually have a shower. It will be cold and it’s actually pointless. It is not like the adverts!

2. Read “Jane Eyre“. Or any other classics for that matter. It takes so long to get to the end because the language is so weird and it takes ages to work out what every other word means!

3. See the Great Wall of China. People say this is great but really? If you’re anything like me you’re thinking “Really you want to walk around all day and look at a wall?” It is a WALL, and it involves walking!

4. Run a Marathon. Again physical exercise! You also have to pay! What?! YOU HAVE TO PAY TO TORTURE YOURSELF!? Really, people do this?

5. Spend a whole day naked. Weird one but this does appear on some lists of what you SHOULD do before you die. WHY? Seriously, think of the consequences. You will contract hyperthermia and it’s just plain weird.

6. Be totally honest with someone. Since when has that ever worked?

7. Become a millionaire. Are you fucking serious? If you are under 23 and extremely smart/business savvy then maybe but otherwise, just give up now. It isn’t going to happen WE ARE IN A FUCKING RECESSION YOU CAN’T JUST DECIDE TO BE A MILLIONAIRE!

8. See the Northern Lights. You have a T.V what is the point? You have to pay for flights, food, accommodation just to see some lights? Just google it and look at the damn pictures!

9. Become mortgage free. Really? This is someone’s life aim?

10. Die. You do not want to die before you die. Time will collapse and you will cause the universe to implode.

There we have it! 10 things you should not do before you die. If you want more buy the book “Can’t be arsed” by Richard Wilson. It is very funny and entertained me for hours!

Okay that is all I have to say to you!

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

P.S. Please comment and like it if you enjoyed xxx

6

10 Things You Should Do Before You Die

I have some more news. This time it’s really bad. You might remember me posting about a vlog that Elly and I had started a few weeks ago. Well, Elly had decided it was better if people at school didn’t know (haters and all) but some people that we really don’t like found out and told everyone so we have had to shut it down. Hopefully we will start a new one but we haven’t decided on a name and I couldn’t tell you anyway because those people could read this and find the new channel. I might be able to tell you in the future when everyone has forgotten about this but right now I’m afraid it is tippity top secret.

Okay so this list is quite an easy one and there are way more than ten things that I want to do but the them is a list of ten and for once I am obeying my own rules.

1. Learn ukulele. No joke it actually is the easiest instrument to learn (except maybe the triangle). After about 3 hours I could play most pop songs.

2. Sleep under the stars. Please don’t do this in England it’s fucking freezing and you will get hypothermia. This does seem a pretty cool thing to do though (unless it’s cloudy).

3. Learn to do the splits. I do not recommend this if you are over the age of 55. It just seems like it would be a good acheivement.

4. Take your duvet and pillow and try to sleep in as many weird places as you can. See “Sam Pepper – Sleeping Prank”. Link at the bottom.

5. Take part in a flash mob. One like in “St Trinians 2 – Legend of Fritton’s Gold”, that was a cool flash mob.

6. Learn George Watsky’s “Fast Rap”. I am in the process of learning it and it is insane. Again, link at the bottom.

7. Skydive. My auntie did this and said she would never, ever do it again, but to think you have done a skydive, that’s just awesome.

8. Write a blog. They’re amazing and so much fun.

9. Try to beat a world record or if you fail, set your own. Did you know the record for mince pies eaten in a minute is 2!?

10. Tell the person you love that you love them.

Well that was all very serious wasn’t it? Tomorrow it’s going to be “10 Things You Should Not Do Before You Die”, just to balance it out.

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

George Watsky http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=I6XLswqiX0s

Sam Pepper http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3xZDHq2RoT8

P.S. Please comment and like, I will love you forever… promise xxx

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10 Things People Do That Annoy Me

Hello! Today you lucky, lucky people are going to get 2 lists! One to do with some kind of upsetting news I got and the other is just a regular old list!

Firstly I present to you my list of positives and negatives about being dumped by my (now ex) boyfriend (yes George it took him less than 3 weeks to work out that I’m weird (yes lads I am a single pringle again)and I don’t need you to comment George) and so here is my list:

Negatives;

1. I don’t have a boyfriend.

2. People will ask awkward questions.

3. It only lasted like 4 days.

Positives;

1. I can now dance to “All the single ladies”.

2. Elly rang him telling him what a prick he was (which was quite amusing).

3. It only lasted 4 days so it really didn’t take me long to get over it (like 30 minutes).

4. I can now focus on playing ukulele instead of worrying if he will text me.

5. I can now be as weird as I like because I have no one to impress.

There is my lists and as you can see the positives outweigh the negatives so therefore I am happy!

The list today is going to be… 10 Things People do that Annoy Me

1. When people don’t wear deodorant. Please don’t stand near me.

2. When someone compliments a girl and the girl goes “No I’m not pretty, I’m ugly” Just accept the damn compliment you know you’re fucking gorgeous!

3. When people are rude. I can’t stand rude people.

4. Okay this is a HUGE one for me. When really fat people (not picking on people it’s just it tends to be them that do it) go into a fast food place and are like “I’ll have a large burger, large fries, extra portion of onion rings… Erm some chicken wings, some mozzarella sticks and, oh yeah, a diet coke” Like WTAF??? What is wrong with your mind!? Just because you have a diet coke it doesn’t cancel out all of the other shit you just ordered!

5. When you’re texting someone and you are really making an effort and they only reply with one word answers (especially when they say “Kk”) It’s like seriously bitch that is all I get!?

6. There is always that one kid who reminds the teacher you had homework due in. Like really? Why do you do this? You are such a little snitch!

7. Guys this one is for you. When you make it so obvious that you are checking a girl’s butt out. The funny thing is that you think you are being covert. You are really not.

8. Girls this one is for you. In P.E when you have to run and there are like all the pretty girls going “Omg this is like the worst thing ever, I can’t believe she is making us RUN!” Seriously just move bitch the slower you go the more the rest of us suffer from the teacher making us do shuttle runs (Elly…)

9. That person that when you’re watching a movie they’re like “Oh this bit is so funny!”. YOU JUST RUINED IT FOR ME! TURN IT OFF I DON’T WANT TO WATCH IT NOW!

10. People who judge you as soon as they see you. I may not be the prettiest, coolest or smartest but don’t judge me without knowing me.

Okay there is my list for today. If there is anything that annoys you please comment and if you have any ideas for what you want my next list to be on please comment as well. If you enjoyed it please like it and if you really want (here’s a crazy idea) you could even follow me.

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

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10 Things You Really, Really Shouldn’t Do In Public

Okay guys, I have some more news! (No George I have not been dumped…yet) My news is that I am going to blog every day this week from today, Sunday 27th, to Sunday 3rd of February. Every one of the posts that I write this week is going to be  list. So if I enjoy doing this then I will change the theme each week and for every day that week I will write something within that theme (if you get me…)

The theme for this week is… Lists (but you already knew that because I said it earlier but I don’t care!)

So onwards with my advice…  10 things you really, really shouldn’t do in public

1. Squeeze a spot. Eww gross! Please save this disgusting habit for somewhere where the rest of us don’t have to watch!

2. Don’t talk to yourself. It looks weird, people will avoid you and there is a chance you will end up in a mental institution!

3. Announce your sexuality. Yes it’s fabulous that you are happy with yourself but to be honest it does freak people out a little if you just randomly yell that your bi/straight/gay/lesbian.

4. Throw up. This is key if you have been drinking. Please resist the urge, even if it means swallowing it. Act cool and classy. Also throwing up is disgusting and I really don’t want to see it.

5. Check if your underarms smell. Just no. Don’t do it. Ever.

6. Ask people to guess what colour socks you’re wearing. It’s strange.

7. One for the girls. Don’t pull your pants out of your bum. I don’t care if your thong is practically tearing you in half just don’t do it please.

8. One for the guys. Argue with your girlfriend. We don’t want to know your problems, we have our own. Also your girlfriend is probably right so there is no need to argue

9. Spit. Please don’t casually spit on the path or anywhere I don’t want your spit on my shoe thanks.

10. Shout. I really, really don’t give a fuck about what you did last night and I really don’t care if your friend is on the other side of the road either! You don’t have to tell us all.

So there we are this took me ages so I hope you enjoyed this! Please comment with what you want me to post about, it can be a list about anything! Please like this if you liked it and please follow!!!

Bye

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

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I Have Something To Tell You

 

This is going to sound ridiculously girly and pathetic but I feel so happy I could burst and I can’t stop grinning. I promise you I am not normally like this and you probably won’t care but this is majorly important to me!!! I know you’re all dying for me to tell you this amazing news but let me build the tension a little longer ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

………………………………. Okay that is long enough! My amazingly, fantastically wonderful news is that (drum roll please…)

I HAVE A BOYFRIEND!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I know all of you are groaning “This girl, I thought she was actually interesting but no, she is just like every other teenage girl, what next is she going to tell us she loves Justin Bieber!”
No I do not like Justin Bieber, I hate him (sorry to the girls who like him) and yes I have needs just like every other teenager and yes I am really happy that I have a boyfriend and yes I do like him very much and yes I do want to kiss him (Will, if you ever read this, take note!)

His name is Will, he is slightly taller than me (which is good) and he is quite good-looking, when he texts me he puts kisses and he doesn’t mind if I gossip about him with my friends!

Yes lads be jel I am no longer single!

Anyway the only problem is (girls I need your help on this) that he asked me out on Friday night by text and I said yes by text and I have only text him since he asked me out. I won’t see him until Monday and I am really nervous about what the freakin’ fuck I am gonna say to him! Girls please help me out (George, no you do not count as a girl).

Anyway that is my news and I thought it would be nice to keep you up to date with my life! Actually I have a bit more news… I think I have decided on what GCSE’s I am taking!!!

At the moment I am taking;
French
Geography
Music
Statistics and Further Maths
And my reserves are Media and Further Additional Science

(Out of my top 4, Will has 3 of the same subjects!!!)

Okay I am going now as EllytheWelly is coming round to my house and I need to go and gossip!

Bye
Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

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Miranda Moment…

Okay I’m just going to say it. I will come right out with it and I permit you to laugh at my giant fail!
It all started this morning when I got up, half asleep, at 7:45. I was getting changed and I grabbed (what i thought was) the deodorant and sprayed. Yes you Miranda watchers have guessed it… IT WAS THE FUCKING HAIRSPRAY!!! So then I did what any normal person would do and hopped around my room screaming “SHIT, IT BURNS!!!” Sometimes I am so like Miranda it is unreal! The moral of this story is make sure you NEVER, EVER put hairspray on your underarms – it fucking kills!

So anyway it’s my options evening tonight and just to make it even more confusing they have added three new options for us to choose from! ARE THEY DELIBERATELY TRYING TO MAKE MY LIFE HARDER!? I can’t make decisions! I’m only 14!

Okay I need to go because it’s my lunch break and there might very well be a cute boy hiding in the library…

Bye xxx
Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton