1

I told you so…

I told you I would write something today! I bet you didn’t believe me did you? Did you…

Anyway I said I would post but I didn’t say it was going to be good! I have no idea what to write about so you will probably end up with some weird ramblings about my day. So…

I drew a portrait last night for my art homework and it turned out quite well. It looks nothing like me but it did only take me 30 minutes. Although you don’t actually know what I look like (unless your name is Beth, Kaitlyn, Elly or George!) as I have never put a picture of me on here, so I could have told you it looked identical to me and you couldn’t have argued! But even though I am a compulsive liar I am being honest today!

That’s what I will talk about… LYING!

I am quite a good liar. I can usually wheedle my way out of situations where I am being blamed for something disasterous! For instance if I happened to get punched in the face… Yeah I was fighting this huge muderer guy that attacked my mother and he had a knife and stuff but I overpowered him with my mint karate skills. In actual fact a lava lamp fell on my face (Elly). Or if I set fire to the chemistry lab (which, let’s face it, I will probably do at some point)… Yeah, ha funny story. I was just mixing some potassium with some other highly reactive chemicals when *random person’s name* kicked me and I accidently knocked the gas tap on and knocked the highly reactive chemical mixture into the gas and then, yeah you know the rest sir.

Mostly I think I lie to make my life seem much better than it actually is like I may say… I POO RAINBOWS!!!!

Okay I have to go now I have rehearsals (not a lie) and I need a wee (that’s a lie)

Byeeeeeee

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

5

Awkward Moments

Sorry I haven’t written in ages but I literally had no time! I had swimming, panto reahearsals, chores (boring), sleepovers and other stuff.

So today I’m gonna talk about awkward moments. Not the ones that people post on facebook going ” That awkaward moment when…. you’re wearing stripy socks!” That is not awkward, akward is waking up at a sleepover with everyone staring at you and then you realise you have drool down your chin! That has never happened to me… yet. Anyway my friend Elly gets really annoyed at these statuses and she wrote a thing about it on her blog so I thought I would too. So here it is.

Awkward moments is my fake tan fail, the time I yelled “PERIODS” really loud in the lunch hall, the time where I decided electric shocking myself was a good idea. We all have awkward moments, some more than others. I think I’m one of those people who tend to just run headfirst into awkward moments. Reckless behaviour tends to be my speciality!

On another note I met the actors playing the lead roles in babes in the woods. They are really, really nice and the guys who play the princes are really really fit! In the script it says they strip to their undies! Woop Woop!

Can’t stay got to eat lunch promise there will be a new post tomorrow!

Bye for now xxxxxx

follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

0

Iphones and Hipsters!

There is a Youtuber called Caspar Lee (super, super hot) and he did a video on how to be a ‘hipster‘. In it he said that to be a hipster you were not allowed to own anything that could be considered mainstream. It is one of the funniest videos I have seen. He also says that do what you want as long as no one else is doing it. To me being a hipster is natural. I do bizzare things and own an owl hat, cow hat, rainbow hat and am soon gonna own a llama hat. If someone else starts to do what I do I stop doing whatever it is I was doing! Nowadays if you aren’t mainstream you are not cool. Therefore being a hipster is an art. Weird but not too weird.

The thing is you can tell who’s got a bit of hipster in them because of the phone they have. Iphone = mainstream. Blackberry = mainstream. HTC = kinda mainstream. Samsung = kinda mainstream. Nokia Lumia = hipster. Phone older than 4 years = UNCOOL MAN!!! I have an orange rio and while it’s not the greatest phone it is NOT mainstream and it does exactly what I want! I strongly recommend watching ‘How to be a Hipster’ by Casper Lee. I will put a link to the video at the bottom.

The next thing I have been told (I mean threatened at knife point!) to mention that my friend Elly has a blog here on WordPress and would like me to ask you to read it and if you like it follow it. Her blog is called ‘Elly the Welly’ and is filled with llamas and stuff. Also she is obsessed with me (even if she says otherwise…), just look at the amount of pics she has of me!

Anyway I have to go to swimming training now…

Don’t forget to comment, like and that other stuff…

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vmfpKpPyMEU

10

I need a cup of tea

I think I may have a slight addiction to tea. If it comes with biscuits all the better. Is it normal for a 13-year-old to drink about six cups of tea a day? I don’t think so. No offence to the oldies out there but I’m pretty sure tea is for people who are middle-aged! I love tea at the moment it’s just so… drinkable! I don’t want to be a middle-aged teenager that drinks tea, it’s weird! Then again I have never denied to being slightly unhinged and strange! I don’t like coffee though. It tastes funny! I feel incomplete without a cup of tea in my hand, empty almost. The time I need tea most is when I’m in a maths class solving algebraic equations with fractions. But they won’t let me! What is the world coming to when a girl can’t even drink tea when she wants to!

Anyway enough about tea! After my fake tan fail-tastic fail I have resolved never EVER to use the stupid stuff again! So at least one thing was learnt… DO NOT USE FAKE TAN – especially if it looks green! Not much has happened since the last time I blogged apart from the fact that I decided to read the bible (not because I’m religious, just because I need a challenge) because I have run out of books. If you are religious I recommend ‘The Word On The Street’. I also drank some tea, ate some food and did some other shit.

Tell me about your addictions and stuff in the comments.

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

2

Fake Tan Fail…

I read a book once (it has since become my boy bible!) that said the art of dating comes down to confidence. If you don’t have it fake it. The exact words were ‘fake it till you feel it’. I decided to apply this to my physical appearance *FACEPALM*.I can already hear the groans of disapproval! I decided that my legs were too pale and I needed to fake it with spray tan *FACEPALM*. My mum had given me some St Morriz ‘tan in a can’ so I stood in the bath and started to spray my legs… Only to notice that the tan stuff had gone – wait for it – GREEN!!! In my head I was going ‘SHIT! SHIT SHIT!’ on the outside I like to think I looked cool and collected – ha fat chance! So I grabbed my mum’s spray tan stuff and sprayed that over the top * ANOTHER FUCKIN’ FACEPALM*. Well… You can probably guess that my legs weren’t exactly the bronzed colour I wanted!

This is just one of the fails that make up my life! Here’s a few examples…

I thought venison was skunk *FACEPALM* I thought Salvador Dali was a country instead of a painter *FACEPALM* I decided that touching a bunsen burner was a good idea *FACEPALM* I got chocolate face mask stuck in my eyebrows *FACEPALM*

My life is just a load of fails and laughable moments.

Tell me about your worst (or best) fails in the comments. We can all laugh at each other – I mean come on, none of us are actually gonna offer decent advice!

Yours truly faked and failed

Tabby x

Follow me on twitter @tabbymilton

3

Whoa!!!

Okay hi everyone! Sorry I haven’t written in ages! Things have been a little busy! I have panto rehearsals, swimming, homework, latin club and other mundane stuff! So I will start from (near) the beginning!

Halloween: I am 13 and am the most immature person in the world so me and my friends and sister went trick or treating! I haven’t really been trick or treating that many times because my dad doesn’t like it! So anyway we all went round the charity shops and got tutus and stuff and made costumes! It was so much fun and it wasn’t even cold!

Elly’s fit cousin: Elly is my best friend and invited me to go to diggerland with her. I said yes and she told me her cousins were also coming. The elder one, Josh, was extremely hot. At diggerland me and Elly were the quietest we have ever been and Josh was so nice. They had this big soft play area and me, Elly, Josh and his brother Taylor had a massive fight with the balls! Also me, Elly and Taylor got told off for speeding in a huge JCB truck thing. Actually I think his exact words were “You were shreddin’ the arse of that!” Also the next day we had a bonfire party and I drank cider! Yay!

Music: Okay…. I finally charged my iPod up and found that it had the album “Fantastic 80’s” and I actually listened to it! Also anyone who actually reads this you NEED to check out Two Door Cinema Club and Lonely Island and Lonsdale Boys Club and Fools Garden. Music = Mintage!!!!!

Right okay so whoa that is my last few weeks summarised in about 300 words! To recap:

Whoa Elly’s cousin is hot, fit and one of the biggest flirts ever…

Whoa my taste in music has changed…

Whoa I actually went trick or treating…

Whoa my life is chaotic and way too much shit happens to me! Till next time adieu….. (is that spelt right?)