I went for a “run”

Never again! Ever! I want to cry just thinking about the pain I was in.

This is the tale of yet another time I made a fool of myself.

THE RUN

I set off with my mother running like a pro with her telling me to slow down. Thing is, if I slow anymore my shins start to hurt because I have to shorten my stride. I was going good. I looked okay and wasn’t doing my usual conducting an orchestra thing with my hands.

Then it hit me.

The burning in my throat that causes the permanent taste of blood and just as I was resigning myself to the fact that I was becoming part vampire, I saw them.

Them, was people I knew. A girl in my year and her boyfriend. It was okay, at this point I am still going strong and not letting the blood taste hinder my “running”. I run past to whoops and shouts of “Go Tabby!”, to which I reply “Shut up I can’t run!”

To clarify, I look like a dying walrus combined with a goat that has been smeared in tomato juice.

Still I am doing okay (I’ve been running for 5 minutes, this is good for me) and then I see some more people I know. My friend Tom and then across the road, two boys that I go to drama with.

FML

At this point, I can barely breathe, convincing myself I am actually asthmatic (either that or I was actually born to live in the sea and have missed my calling as a clown fish) and flailing around like a porpoise (do porpoises flail?).

Anyway I continue on at a respectable rate until none of the people can see me.

Fuck it. Imma walk the rest.

Yeah so my mother being all showy with her “map my run” and her music and her running shoes carries on running whilst I, convinced I am dying by internal suffocation (is that a thing? that’s what it felt like), walk the shortest easiest way home. Over a wall, through a field and collapse on the kitchen floor.

I should have realised that after not running at all for two years and skipping PE for the last 3 months, I would not be in peak physical condition.

I cannot run. It is your duty as fellow humans (or animals or aliens) to warn me about my incapability next time I have even the faintest notion of “running”.

All in all, it was a painful, embarrassing experience that I do not wish to repeat. Ever.

If you take anything from this, anything at all, be it that physical exercise is bad for you. Do not under any circumstances partake in anything similar to this malarkey called “running”.

Goodbye

Tabby

So this sort of just happened…

It’s a thing. Here, have a thing that i did.

Also sorry for not blogging. Not much I can say really. Fucking off to France tomorrow so won’t blog for at least a week and as you know all too well, infrequent and sporadic blogging is my favourite *only* type of blogging.

Goodbye

Tabby

Yeah, yeah I know!

LEAVE ME ALONE OKAY I WAS REVISING!?

…………………………………………………………………… Well I wasn’t but I was doing other important stuff…………………… …………….Well it wasn’t important really but ya know!

Well I was in Lourdes on pilgrimage during half term so I couldn’t write then I was busy being religious…….

Then I’ve got like exams and stuff that I actually have been revising for……..

Then the best part…… I’m actually being sociable and going out! I went out last night and ended up with some guys who kept trying to get us to go into a pub even though we are 3 years underage but still…. that pub’s a shit-hole and will serve anyone!

And then today there’s been…… Stuff……. Happening…… At drama…….

That’s the other thing, I’m busy learning lines for shows and stuff and I’m in the middle of downloading over 600 songs to my iTunes account.

So erm yeah not very interesting today, I’m afraid. Gonna have to go because things to see, people to do (no that’s definitely the right way around ;P)

Goodbye

Not a haul post….

Sorry but this time it actually isn’t my fault!!!!

I did try, honestly I did!!!

My dad kept turning the electric off so that he could rewire the kitchen lights so that meant no wifi and my laptop decided to be a penis and not connect to my phone’s personal hotspot so half of the time I couldn’t even get on the internet and then when I could, the photos that I had taken on my phone decided not to sync with my laptop and not go to my photo stream so I couldn’t get the photos on my laptop to upload and everything majorly failed.

I would have uploaded today but I was at laser quest this morning on a ‘family outing’ (yes because shooting your family members is really a way to build bonds!?) and then the electric got turned off yet again and then I had to go and walk my dog and right now I just can’t be bothered with doing a proper post so I’m sorry (I’m not really, I’m just saying that I am)

Anyhow….. I shall post tomorrow…..

Goodbye

Tabby

If I like your post….

And it’s about something sad like you feel depressed or lonely, it’s not because I like the fact that you are suffering it’s because I want you to know that someone read your words and is there for you. It is a supportive gesture 🙂

Are you even on my level of awesomeness like seriously dude I have freaking unicorn pyjama bottoms!!!!!!!!!!

So this morning I got up at 5:30 (YES ON A SATURDAY YES IT WAS LIKE HELL) to go help my Dad at the car boot sale but late last night I was invited to go out with a few friends for a birthday lunch at Pizza Express and shopping afterwards and I had an absolute ball even though I was tired as fuck (wtf does that even mean… I’m really tired DON’T JUDGE ME!!!) I bought these unicorn pyjama bottoms after my friend Gabi showed me them in Strasbourg and I really needed some (YES NEEDED NOT WANTED!!!)

We went to Starbucks and marvelled at the fact that the barista spelt our names correctly and gossiped and bitched and compared items.

This was Lily’s cake and y’all should go follow her on twitter because tomorrow is her birthday and that would be cool!!!

So I think I’ll do a haul post tomorrow with pictures of the things I bought and where from and stuff like that so look forward to (or don’t) to that.

Goodbye

I Bloody Hate Weddings

Currently (i mean friday when i actually wrote this), I’m sat in a car with my family travelling to Luton for a wedding.

I hate weddings. It’s never like in the movies when you go to a wedding and there’s this really cute guy and you end up dancing and making out and then the night gets a little more interesting. No. There is never anyone my age, the food is always this posh stuff that you have no idea whether it’s edible or not and then there’s the awkward dance/disco thing after a lengthy service and freaky food where you all kind of sit awkwardly around the edge of the dance floor and listen to the shitty music selection that people with no taste have put together. There’s also the whole waiting around for hours between the vows and the wedding breakfast which makes you so hungry you only have two options; starve or resort to cannibalism and eat the bride’s mother.

More disadvantages include…..

• being stuck in the car with your family for 5 hours
• having to share a hotel room with your family
• having absolutely everyone disregard the rules of privacy and personal space
• having your parents constantly ask why you insist on getting changed in the bathroom
• wearing a dress and having to look presentable
• being separated from the internet (apparently its rude to take your macbook to a wedding?)
• having no one to talk to for several hours
• not being able to watch Breaking Bad or Supernatural
• most of the time you don’t even know the people being married

I have been to only one wedding about which I could say was a good wedding. This was my mum’s cousin’s wedding.

Things that made it good……

• began later in the day so I could sleep in
• service was short
• during the wait there was loads of cake and drink and snacks and I didn’t go hungry (for a change)
• they put out loads of games like giant jenga and monopoly during the wait
• it was held at this awesome business school/castle which you could explore
• for the wedding breakfast, anyone under 16 got chicken and chips (yay edible food)
• for the dancing they had loads of silly hats for people to get dressed up
• they had these flip-flops for anyone wearing heels whose feet needed a break
• FREE BAR!!!!!

So erm yeah *awkwardly shuffles out through window*………….

*climbs back through window* Oh yeah and I’m in Strasbourg next week so expect pictures!!!!!!

*quietly leaves through door*

Goodbye

Tabby

I started watching Breaking Bad

It’s awesome!!!! I started watching on Friday night when I was babysitting and now I’m on season 2 episode 5…

Yeah so babysitting was actually really fun because they have a 51″ HD 3D smart TV with netflix so I ended up watching breaking bad!

I’m not sure if I’ll get round to posting next week as I am currently swamped in coursework 😦

Going to Strasbourg in 2 weeks!!!! EEEEEEEEKKKKKKKKKK SO EXCITED!!!!

Getting my braces tightened on Friday 😦 Not looking forward to that!

Erm yeah so thats kind of all that’s happened (yes I know my life is crap!) so yeah….

Goodbye

Tabby

So I went shopping yesterday….

This picture accurately displays my feelings about said shopping trip…

Confuddlement! I went because I needed some colourful tops. At the moment I have the choice of white lacey tops or novelty t shirts. All I could find in all shops was black, white and grey stuff! It was all the same in the same colours and I hated it! I ended up buying a pale blue vest top and a blue thin jumper and a blue checked shirt thingy and that was it!!! There was like nothing!!!

Also, my dale poster came and it’s amaze-balls!!!!!

So happy it came!!!!!!!!

So erm yeah… Also my neck hurts. Like a lot. I’m not entirely sure what I’ve done, I just woke up yesterday and ten minutes later it started hurting and it hasn’t stopped and I can’t move my head a lot. So that’s a bummer but oh well….

I had parents evening on Thursday and I was expecting it to go something like this

Teacher 1: Well Tabby has a tendency to rush homework and she is quite challenging in class

Teacher 2: I’m a little disappointed with the fact that Tabby is not achieving her A* target

Teacher 3: Your child is the most annoying little shit on the face of the Earth

Teacher 4: Can you please make sure that Tabby no longer stabs people in my lesson

Teacher 5: Can you please tell your child not to challenge my authority

But actually it was awesome…. Like every teacher was all “Tabby seems a lot happier than a few months ago” and “Tabby has really matured this year” and “Tabby is doing really well in (insert subject here) and she will have no problem getting her A* next year”….. I just kind off sat there going who are you and what have you done with (insert teacher’s name here)…. One teacher even apologised to me!!!!

So yeah it’s been a good week and I am so close to getting 100 followers on this blog and ahhhhh!!!!

So on that note…

Goodbye

Tabby

I just ate 40 pieces of popcorn chicken…

Well technically I had 26 pieces of popcorn chicken, 5 chicken nuggets and 2 chicken dippers… I think I have a problem with chicken…..

Please don’t judge me I couldn’t help it, it just sort of happened….

Anyways, I have so many posts that I want to do but I want to write them all now and I can’t because that’s stupid and I don’t know why but I feel super hyper right now and I’m typing like so freaking fast…..

Right, I have things that I want to tell you but can’t so that is gonna have to wait until maybe tomorrow or 3 in the morning when I get a random spurt of energy and decide to solve the economic crisis, write a novel and paint a fucking masterpiece…

Jesus my brain is super fucked up right now.

So this has been my week….

Monday: Went to Beth’s for sleepover and met her cousin Niamh who is awesome. Elly broke my fucking brace by falling on me when she sprinted to answer the phone to the pizza guy. She pulled one of the brackets off and it fucking hurt!

Tuesday: Left Beth’s and went to Shepperton (near London) to visit friends.

Wednesday: Bought a purple notebook from Paperchase (part of my OCD-ness, you wouldn’t understand it’s weird) and bought a dress for a stupid wedding in March (hoping to God that there’s gonna be hot guys!)

Thursday: Came back from Shepperton

Friday: Got my brace fixed… Oh yeah and Elly came round and we did fuck all….

Saturday: Gavin was here (foster kid) so we didn’t do a lot. Worked on English spoken language project and watched Bridget Jones’s Diary

Sunday: Looked like shit and didn’t get out of my pj’s until like one o’clock…. Then did fuck all….

Yeah so basically I did fuck all and now it’s 23:15 and I have 3 pieces of homework in for this week…. Shit.

In other, slightly more interesting news, I auditioned for the school play and got the part of Helena in A Midsummer Night’s Dream which is cool…. Also my love interest in the play isn’t to bad to look at so that’s a plus *Beth rolls her eyes and gives condescending look*….

Also the Strasbourg trip is only 5 weeks away and I still haven’t lost enough fucking weight to look good in my bikini at the spa!!!!! Yes we’re going to a spa on a school trip!!!!

I did the stupid poetry competition and all the other competitors were 17/18 except one. I placed 2nd which is cool and it was actually quite a fun night because the other ‘kids’ were pretty cool and we all got on quite well.

Right, anyway, I think I have bombarded you with enough information for now so I’m going to go and attempt to sleep which will probably fail because at the moment my mind is all over the fucking place and I keep thinking about people that I should definitely NOT be thinking about! *internal voice screams ‘yeah brain stfu and go to fucking sleep’*

Adieu my internet friends I must go and wrestle with my thoughts….

Tabby

I got braces!

Yeah so that happened this morning. I missed my Chemistry GCSE coursework practical and then had to swap sets in the afternoon to do it with set 2 which was interesting. I think it’s going okay… my coursework i mean.

Anyway, yeah I got my braces put on this morning and that was………… an experience. They’re pink because I thought pink would look nice and I actually don’t mind how I look with them. I kinda like them. It’s just that now, they kinda hurt…. a lot. But it’s not that bad, it’s bearable. I have to go back in six weeks to get them tightened and I think I’m gonna get turquoise ones.

This is my face on the way to get braces

 

As pictures of my face go, this is quite a nice one….. If I do say so myself (and i do!)

And this is my face after my trip to the orthodontists

 

Yes I am in Mcdonalds DON’T JUDGE ME!!!! I had a milkshake………..and chips…….

As you can see I do not look as nice as before, the dentist ruined my hair. (#firstworldproblems)

 

I would also like to take this opportunity too say that I am sorry for not doing the awards that you kind people give me and I am sorry for not blogging once a week.

Also in my life….. I started dance again! Yay! I now do grade 3 tap, grade 5 tap, intermediate foundation ballet, pointe and body conditioning. Plus, I am going to the regional competition round of Poetry By Heart competition on Wednesday and I have learnt 2/3 poems. I have an audition tomorrow for the part of Titania in the school play A Midsummer Night’s Dream and I got Anne Boleyn in the youth theatre production Henry The Tudor Dude.

Yes I have been busy learning stuff (not to mention the 4 hour controlled assessment I had in English for my GCSE that I had to revise for and the coursework exams in science and the statistics test and maths test I have next week)

So forgive me for not blogging I have been doing all of that and trying to watch as much Supernatural as possible (I’m now on season 6!)

So just a quick(ish) update on my miserable excuse of a life. I have to go now. After drinking copies amounts of tea, my bladder is now refusing to hold any more.

Goodbye, I will leave you with this